Changes

I don't know when it happened.  In the blink of an eye 3rd year clerkships have ended, fourth year sub-internships are done and residency applications have been submitted. 

The thing that scares me the most is I can see myself becoming one of "them". The type of people that I had so much disdain for when I began medical school, when I was full of optimism and excitement about my future career.  I found myself identifying with the gripes of my interns, 2nd and 3rd year residents and even attendings. 

Conversations that before rolled over me about the realities of medical practice now stick with me, ruminating in my mind.

I truly hope this is a passing phase.  The stress of passing boards and the endless waiting for interview offers to roll in are hopefully to blame. 

I want to be sure that I love medicine that way I had always envisioned that I would without all these extra hoops and traps we're always mucking through.